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At a minimum, they cause confusion and insecurity. Those who sexually use and abuse boys know this. It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation – although some people are skilled at getting those they use or abuse to take on a responsibility that is always, and only, their own.
For any man harmed by unwanted or abusive sexual experiences – and anyone who wants to support him – learning and embracing these facts is necessary to overcoming the effects of the abuse, and to achieving the life he wants and deserves.
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The resolve I have seen from these two young victims over the last two years is truly inspiring,” he said.How did the harrowing crime come to light?
Walton County deputies received reports about child sexual abuse material uploaded to a Google account in 2022.
So of course some boys and men who have experienced unwanted or abusive sexual experiences will, at least for a while, not know them and and instead suffer the consequences of believing in harmful myths.
When societies begin to embrace these facts, and teach them to children at the earliest appropriate age, far more boys and men who’ve had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences will get the recognition and help they need.
When boys or men harmed by unwanted or abusive sexual experiences learn these facts, they will much less shame and be much more likely to seek whatever knowledge, understanding and help they need to achieve the lives they want and deserve.
When boys, men and society as a whole embrace these facts, boys and men who have been sexually used or abused will be much less likely to join the minority who end up hurting others.
When these facts are understood, that fosters another critical understanding: it was not the child’s fault.
It is important to remember that that 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18 (see Statistics), and that those boys can grow up to be strong, powerful, courageous and healthy men. What if I Already Have?)
Not understanding these facts is understandable, but harmful, and needs to be overcome.
These facts are not learned while growing up, and are still seldom learned by adults.
One large study, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, found that the sexual abuse of boys was more likely to involve penetration of some kind, which is associated with greater psychological harm.
The harm caused by sexual abuse mostly depends on things not determined by gender, including the abuser’s identity, the duration of the abuse, whether the child told anyone at the time, and if so, whether the child was believed and helped.
Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual.
It is common, however, for boys and men who have been abused to express confusion about their sexual identity and orientation, whether they identify as straight, gay or bi-sexual.
This is usually done from a position of authority (e.g., coach, teacher, religious leader) or status (e.g. They often attempt to maintain secrecy, and to keep the abuse going, by telling the child that his sexual response shows he was a willing participant and complicit in the abuse. It’s about taking advantage of a child’s vulnerability.
Research on this question suggests that men who have sexually abused boys often identify as heterosexual and often are involved in adult heterosexual relationships at the same time.
They almost always harm boys’ and men’s capacities for trust and intimacy.
A gay man who experienced sexual arousal when abused by a female may wonder whether it means that he is actually straight or wonder what it means that he was chosen by a woman or older girl.
Being sexually used or abused, whether by males or females, can cause a variety of other emotional and psychological problems.
They can, however, be manipulated into experiences they do not like, or even understand, at the time.
There are many situations where a boy, after being gradually manipulated with attention, affection and gifts, feels like he wants such attention and sexual experiences. (See a page I wrote for 1in6, Am I Going to Become Abusive?
However, boys and men often don’t recognize the connections between what happened and their later problems. Some guys who identify as heterosexual fear that, due to their experiences as boys, they must ‘really’ be homosexual. It is important to understand that males can respond to sexual stimulation with an erection or even an orgasm – even in sexual situations that are traumatic or painful.
That’s just how male bodies and brains work.
The sexual orientation of the abusive person is not particularly relevant to the abusive interaction. There is limited and disputed research on rates of sexual abuse of boys by straight vs. You liked it,” they say.
But that doesn’t make it true.